You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? (Dark Raven’s Version)
As I sit here suffering through what most Americans deal with: unemployment, I’ve had a great deal of free time on my hand as I wait for potential jobs that I’ve applied for give me a chance. And in that free time I’ve noticed a lot of things about our surrounding world that most people either take for granted or fail to notice because of their busy lives. I thought I’d do my followers and the world a service by pointing those things out. Let’s start with something simple.
Sports: With no 2011-2012 NBA season more and more inevitable with each passing day, NBA players are trying to find ways to pass the time and keep themselves in shape during like playing overseas. So you know what really grinds my gears? NBA Commissioner David Stern. Get off your damn high horse and negotiate with the owners so we can have a season. If there’s no season, (and it looks like there isn’t going to be one) that’s at least six months of lost revenue for arena workers, fantasy basketball players which is essential lost online advertising revenue, and running the risk of having NBA players get into problems with injury if they play overseas and/or the law both domestic and abroad.
Thankfully with the NFL CBA negotiated, we will have an NFL season so I don’t have any formal complaints, just personal ones. ATTENTION MIAMI DOLPHINS: TRADE, DRAFT, BUY, AND/OR WHORE YOURSELVES OUT FOR A DECENT QUARTERBACK!! You haven’t had one since the retirement of Dan Marino.
MLB: YOU SUCK AND I HATE YOU!! Here are things you can do to suck a little less: implicate Instant Replay, broadcast other games on the jumbo tron during rain delays to keep fans in the stands, forbid any manager above age 60 from wearing a baseball uniform; you look ridiculous. Treat bench-clearing brawls like the NBA does which means that any player who is not currently on the field of play who makes it onto the field is immediately issued a minimum of a one-game suspension. Keep them between the players involved only like a hockey brawl.
The world has bigger problems obviously than just what’s going on in the sports world which brings me to International News.
LONDON: You know what really grinds my gears? The fact that Americans can’t riot like the Europeans can! The London riots started because London police officers shot and killed a peaceful protester. Horrible as that is, can you imagine what the USA would be like if we rioted for every time a
cop shot and killed peaceful protesters like tree-huggers and union organizers, it would be like another Civil War every other day of the week. Hell, they even riot better than we do after losing sporting events.
POLITICS: You know what really grinds my gears? Politicians. You raise millions of dollars for your own selfish causes and guarantee that the retards that run our financial systems are given golden parachutes when they inevitably fail.
NETFLIX: You know what really grinds my gears? Netflix. You decide to hike your prices 60% for no good reason. I see that you’ve improved your selection on Instant Stream, but that doesn’t explain the reasoning for your price hike. You have made a powerful enemy, Netflix. You have been warned.
MY LIFE: You know what really grinds my gears? My life in general. Now aside from the typical “I have no job, woe is me” mentality, I have been turned into a modern-day Napoleon, excommunicated from my own home and room in order to make room for my sister’s new baby. Or so I thought until I realized that it was just a ruse and the space went to my sister’s dogs.
And that’s what really grinds my gear, Diane?