You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? (Dark Raven’s Version)

As I sit here suffering through what most Americans deal with: unemployment, I’ve had a great deal of free time on my hand as I wait for potential jobs that I’ve applied for give me a chance. And in that free time I’ve noticed a lot of things about our surrounding world that most people either take for granted or fail to notice because of their busy lives. I thought I’d do my followers and the world a service by pointing those things out. Let’s start with something simple.

Sports: With no 2011-2012 NBA season more and more inevitable with each passing day, NBA players are trying to find ways to pass the time and keep themselves in shape during like playing overseas. So you know what really grinds my gears? NBA Commissioner David Stern. Get off your damn high horse and negotiate with the owners so we can have a season. If there’s no season, (and it looks like there isn’t going to be one) that’s at least six months of lost revenue for arena workers, fantasy basketball players which is essential lost online advertising revenue, and running the risk of having NBA players get into problems with injury if they play overseas and/or the law both domestic and abroad.

Thankfully with the NFL CBA negotiated, we will have an NFL season so I don’t have any formal complaints, just personal ones. ATTENTION MIAMI DOLPHINS: TRADE, DRAFT, BUY, AND/OR WHORE YOURSELVES OUT FOR A DECENT QUARTERBACK!! You haven’t had one since the retirement of Dan Marino.

MLB: YOU SUCK AND I HATE YOU!! Here are things you can do to suck a little less: implicate Instant Replay, broadcast other games on the jumbo tron during rain delays to keep fans in the stands, forbid any manager above age 60 from wearing a baseball uniform; you look ridiculous. Treat bench-clearing brawls like the NBA does which means that any player who is not currently on the field of play who makes it onto the field is immediately issued a minimum of a one-game suspension. Keep them between the players involved only like a hockey brawl.

The world has bigger problems obviously than just what’s going on in the sports world which brings me to International News.

LONDON: You know what really grinds my gears? The fact that Americans can’t riot like the Europeans can! The London riots started because London police officers shot and killed a peaceful protester. Horrible as that is, can you imagine what the USA would be like if we rioted for every time a
cop shot and killed peaceful protesters like tree-huggers and union organizers, it would be like another Civil War every other day of the week. Hell, they even riot better than we do after losing sporting events.

POLITICS: You know what really grinds my gears? Politicians. You raise millions of dollars for your own selfish causes and guarantee that the retards that run our financial systems are given golden parachutes when they inevitably fail.

NETFLIX: You know what really grinds my gears? Netflix. You decide to hike your prices 60% for no good reason. I see that you’ve improved your selection on Instant Stream, but that doesn’t explain the reasoning for your price hike. You have made a powerful enemy, Netflix. You have been warned.

MY LIFE: You know what really grinds my gears? My life in general. Now aside from the typical “I have no job, woe is me” mentality, I have been turned into a modern-day Napoleon, excommunicated from my own home and room in order to make room for my sister’s new baby. Or so I thought until I realized that it was just a ruse and the space went to my sister’s dogs.

And that’s what really grinds my gear, Diane?


2 thoughts on “You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? (Dark Raven’s Version)

  1. Mind if I reply to some of these?

    -NBA: David Stern should stop listening to what’s been refered to by Adrian Wojniarowski as the “Lunatic Fringe.” The leader of that group, which influences the CBA talks the most: Dan Gilbert. Gee why would he want to get a season cancelled to implement a deal that limits player movement and gives the players less money?

    -MLB: Did you see that Marlins game on Saturday night? Mike Stanton makes a great catch off a Rafael Furcal line drive. The first base ump says he trapped it, but all the replays indicate the opposite. The umps spend about five minutes in a conference about it, then say its a single for Furcal. Pujols comes up one hitter later, belts a home run that you knew was gone the second he hit it. Marlins lose game 2-1.

    They say they won’t bring in replay because it “slows down the game.” Yet in the NFL they only have 90 seconds to look at a replay, and it took the umps five minutes in a conference to come to the same (and wrong) conclusion as the first base ump (who also goofed up a couple more calls that game.) Tell me, where’s the logic in that?

    As for fighting, yes, let it happen. I don’t understand why a pitcher can throw a baseball at 90+ mph at a poor hitters head and it get excused, YET the hitter can’t defend himself with his fists.

    NFL: Look, I’ll take Henne over Orton, Tebow or Favre. Favre and Orton are band-aids, while Tebow is way too risky. If they were going to get a QB, it was going to be in the draft. Sadly they also missed the boat on Vince Young, who would’ve also been great. So of their options, Henne is the best chance they have, and to be honest with you in training camp he hasn’t been that bad. I got to see him in training camp on Sunday (here’s my article, sorry for the shameless plug: ). But if he sucks, just tank the season and allow Bill Cowher, Jon Gruden or whomever else will be replacing Ireland and Sparano draft Andrew Luck. (Another shameless plug of the link to that story I wrote? Twist my arm: ).

    London: that was a powder keg waiting to explode. If you think the USA is running out of money, then meet the UK. They’ve raised the price of going to University as they call it by about 50%. On top of that, they’re slashing benefits left and right. Even though they’re not a total socialist country, they’re socialist enough to show why it doesn’t work. This isn’t just about the peaceful protester killed by the London police, its about everything that’s happened there in the last few years. Eventually a country starts to crack. And you owe an apology to the Detroit rioters in 68, the Miami rioters of 80, 82 and 89, the LA rioters of 68 and 92 an apology for saying that the US can’t riot like the Europeans can. And by the way, give it another year or two and you’ll see how wrong you’ll be proven. Keep a look out for Miami, Cleveland, LA and Detroit: those are the US cities I think most likely to riot.

    Politics: We’re having big problems, so what does congress do? Go on a FIVE WEEK VACATION! Unfortunately both parties are just trying to win in 2012 as opposed to making our country better. They’ve turned politics into sports with this “who’s side are you on” and “you’re either with us or against us” mentality. That doesn’t work in politics because if you keep that up, you’re screwed. The only politician not thinking that way is the one who stands to lose the most: President Obama. I’m not a fan of his but, at least he’s trying to do what he can, all while Pelosi, Reid, Bohener and the rest of those goofs are on vacation.

    Netflix: I dropped my Netflix account a couple of months before they announced their rate hikes, and I couldn’t be happier that I did. Now my favorite video services: and BitTorrent. If I really like a movie or TV show, I buy the DVD or BluRay, even though I think everything is overpriced.

    Your Life: I can’t comment on this but, I wish you nothing but the best. You’re one of the nicest guys I know and the cream always rises to the top. Keep your head up.

    I’m Tom (Galicia) Tucker!

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