My Fiancé’s Colorful Commentary For “The Empire Strikes Back”

A70-2036A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

Well… in this particular scenario, let’s call “a long time ago” yesterday. The “galaxy far, far away?” Our studio apartment. My fiancé was determined to get through the original Star Wars trilogy in preparation for her viewing of Episode VII. In doing so, she made many observations only a first-time viewer could have made in her particular humor that is can only be described as “so Miami.” What that means is that it’s sometimes in two languages. Sadly I wasn’t able to film her viewing of it, but I took down notes on my phone as we watched. Here are some of her best one-liners in her reaction to watching the best film of the original trilogy. 


waroftheworldsIn her first viewing of an At-At:

“They copied that from ‘The War of the Worlds.'”









200_sWhen Luke uses harpoons to trip over at-at on ice planet, Hoth:

“¡Que paquete!” (“What a crock of BS!”)





Regarding R2D2 and C3PO (Can you guess which comment is for whom?)

“All he does is beep.”

“He needs some WD-40.”




star_wars_the_empire_strikes_back_yoda_fighting_r2d2_for_lampRegarding Yoda fighting with R2 over a stick:

“¡Suelte el palo, coño!” (“Let go of the stick, damn it!”)





On Yoda’s Home:


“We saw that on House Hunters International!”





empire-strikes-back-chewbaccaOn Chewbacca:

“If Fabio and a dog had a love child, it would be that.”






Leia-princess-leia-organa-solo-skywalker-33523205-450-289On Princess Leia: “That’s her seduction face? Okay…”







ewok_swOn translating the ewoks in “The Return Of The Jedi:

“No me gustá la yuca.” (I don’t like the yuca.)

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